Thanksgiving

I really love Thanksgiving--it's my favorite holiday. I think it's so important to express gratitude and love to those around you. It's so nice that there is a holiday dedicated to just that. I wish people (including myself) could express their emotions without being prodded to by a specific holiday but I guess this is still better than nothing.

Every year I write out letters to my closest friends expressing the appreciation and love I have for them. I seriously get such a high off of doing that. It's become a ritual and I can't imagine celebrating Thanksgiving without it. It's so important to me to let people know how I feel about them. I think too many things get left unsaid and I strive to say them all.

Break has really been in the spirit of Thanksgiving this year. There was an undertone of appreciation throughout the break. I guess it started with the letter writing on Wednesday night and then getting replies throughout the weekend. I really like being home and with the family. I appreciate the time I spend with them so much because lately I feel like I've been living in a bubble. I honestly think that is what makes med school hard--the isolation that goes along with it. I'm glad I was able to escape from that for a little while at least. It's nice to be able to spend some time with the people that knew me before I became such a 'med student'.

This morning I did some OMM on my grandmother because she was having pain in her upper back. I'm so glad I can use my skills to directly affect the lives of people I care about. It was when I was treating her back that I realized how much being a DO means to me. I know there's the whole MD vs DO debate but honestly it's all about the expression on the person's face after you've helped them. I am so glad that I know OMM. I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't know if I will use it in my practice but I know I will be able to help my parents when they are old and help other people that are close to me. Those are the things that count anyway =)

I don't know what it is but something just feels right. I am really living life with my eyes wide open right now. I have never felt this way before. I always try to be a positive person and keep my optimism high but for the first time, it's effortless. I am loving life right now and I love who I have become. I am working on some things that are important to me and I can see progress. I hope this is something that I've cultivated over time and it won't disappear when life changes. All I know is in this moment I am happy..

Friendships

It's amazing how you can lose touch with someone but if the relationship was a close one in the first place, how easy it is to rekindle. As you dig deeper with the person you realize how much you had in the first place. The time and distance traveled alone really attaches a value to the things you shared. You realize their worth and you realize how life would never be the same without them. Every person that enters our lives really does change us in some way. Sometimes it's a small change that can be overlooked or not even attributed properly. But sometimes that person changes your entire outlook on life. Those are the people that shape us and allow us to define who we are. Those are the people we should never let go.

Newfound Clarity

Dreams can sometimes serve as a revelation. The dream I had last night was a big push in the direction I need to start moving. I realized some things about myself and my future that I can now work with to get where I need to be. I think I have taken the first step in getting over my ex. The distractions of fear and uncertainty have been dispelled and with new-found clarity, I can see a future. I guess that's what really needs to happen to allow you to move on. You need to become confident that you will have a future and that it will be happy. I guess I hadn't fully done that before. I always knew everything would turn out okay but I didn't REALIZE it. I don't even know if there's any difference between me knowing and me realizing (except that the latter deserves capitalization) but who cares. Now that I feel more confident about it, I am in a better place.

I was thinking about friendships when I was laying in bed this morning. I really am amazed at how precious and special friendships are. And also at how powerless we are in forming or abandoning friendships. Some of my friendships have been victims of circumstance whereas others have really been tested but managed to survive. I don't understand how that happens but it's definitely something I find worth thinking about. There's so many people in this world and somehow we are always surrounded by the ones that are just perfect for us at that time in our lives. There are some people that I have known for years and then randomly, one day, a friendship is forged. Why that moment? Why not the countless moments that preceded or followed that one moment? It's remarkable how perfectly orchestrated everything is when you look at it with the clarity of hindsight.

I'm someone who fights for things I want or believe that I deserve. I really do speak my mind. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I wasn't as aggressive about my relationships and desires in general. I think my stress would go down and I wouldn't be as emotionally involved in things. I don't know if I would be happy though. There's pros and cons to both traits and I guess I've adjusted to mine to a point where I can't even fathom what my life would be like if I wasn't like this. Oh well, as long as I'm happy right?

Okay my stomach just grumbled and I think that's my cue to stop writing for now! Maybe I'll write a story or a poem or something later! Carpe diem =)