Nice Weekend Morning

Amazing moment in history yesterday: Matt Nathanson was on the radio! I was driving home for the weekend and I was listening to the radio and Matt Nathanson played! It was amazing. I just hope this isn't the point where he sells himself out. He's such a talented musician and he has a lot of heart in his music. I would hate for this to ruin that human touch he puts into all of his songs.

Every time I come home for the weekend it reminds me of how important it is to keep my inner peace intact. I guess my home is still the perfect place to get that peace snatched away from you. There's so many people, so many toes being stepped on, so many egos to protect. Every time my parents vent to me about what they put up with all I can think is: Find the happiness you are seeking within. I know it's obviously a lot easier for me to see that being so removed from the situation, but I really hope they can find that within themselves. It would make this stressful time in life a lot easier for them. They are putting up with a lot of pressures and they are tolerating a lot of things and it's no wonder that they get disheartened. I'm amazed at my dad's control and will power. He gets so frustrated with so many things that these relatives do but he is always able to control his tongue around them. I don't think he's ever said anything out of line randomly at them out of frustration. I admire that and I hope to be that strong in my life.

School's going really well. Right now I am on the fence in terms of honoring and passing. I may have honored the Intro course but I don't know yet because the lab grades haven't been factored in. It's not that serious but I really hope I did because that would be the perfect start to med school! If I didn't it's okay since I'm gonna be working harder next course anyway ;)

Today I'm gonna do a bunch of work because I slacked off last week (gimme a break, it was the end of a module!) and I'm gonna watch a movie with my brother. I think he still hasn't seen the hangover so we'll watch that. I'm excited...I haven't seen it since the screening in Philly! Man, I miss Philly. I think I'll always consider Philly my city. I know I went through this thought process before leaving Philly but there's a part of my heart that seriously goes out to Philly. I had no clue it would be like that when I was living there!

21 guns--Greenday

This is an amazing song. I think it is so complex, with multiple levels of meaning and interpretations. I see it as a protest against war, specifically Iraq. I think Green Day is expressing grief over the meaningless loss of lives in this effort. The necessity for this war is questionable and the rationale is porous. This flawed attempt at bringing peace and democracy to a people has had a huge toll and the song deals with the concept of weighing the costs and the benefits. Whether or not the entire effort seems heroic or romantic means nothing to the family of the fallen soldier.

Another interpretation of the song would be seeing it as a breakup. When an important person leaves your life it is a drastic change. Even if it is for the best in the long run, there is an immediate misery attached to a breakup. I think the feelings addressed in this song when applied to the breakup situation are extremely powerful and thought-provoking. The idea of the mind breaking the spirit of the soul is absolutely stunning. The stanza about burning down the house and the home to live on your own is another touching one. I think it's amazing how well the lyrics depict the trouble of starting off with a clean slate. When you have to remove a person from your life there are a lot of strings that must be severed. That person has a connection to so many aspects of your life and every aspect that was touched is changed in some way after the breakup. Things that seem meaningless and so removed from the person actually end up being an unexpected source of memories. And so to purge your life of that person, you end up destroying most of what you have. That is such a haunting concept.

In Your Wedding Dress--Matt Nathanson

I just listened to this song last night and it really made me think. I can't believe how beautifully sad it is. The emotions in this song are so incredible. My interpretation is a guy who is about to get married to a girl he doesn't want to commit to. It may not even be the girl he wants to push away, but the commitment itself. "Even at my best, I want to let go."

There is something very universal about this song. Knowing that there is something you should be doing but being so afraid to do it, even though it's what's "right". Our individuality is such a frail thing and to commit to someone in any way requires surrendering that individuality to some extent. You lose yourself in a relationship while you are trying to find the connection with the other person. I think the best relationships are the ones where there is something deep connecting the two that somehow that brings both of the people involved to a deeper understanding of themselves. I think finding a new dimension of yourself is an important aspect of being in a serious relationship.

Matt Nathanson is really an amazing musician. I am so impressed by the complexity of this song and how beautifully it was written and performed. It breaks my heart to hear him sing this...it really is a touching song.