Rainy day blues

OH mann what a week! I have 2 exams coming up on Monday and I have been so busy cramming all week. Sadly the end is not even in sight yet. I feel like there is so much studying left to do and I'm getting through it so slowly and unproductively. I really hope I get my head on straight and get it all crammed into my head.

There were a couple of good things this week though:
1. I'm the vice president of my class! I ran unopposed so it's not that impressive but I think I'm awesome enough to have won anyway ;)

2. After studying at school one day I happened to leave at a perfect time to reach the beach for sunset. I watched the sun set over the water and it was such a soulful experience. I really needed that to unwind after a hectic time so it was absolutely perfect.

Yeah so that's it for the good news haha. It's a tough time in life right now. I feel overwhelmed by the work. I know I can handle it..I just made some bad judgments in the beginning of this module and I'm really paying for them now. I know I can NEVER cram like this again. I really have to stay on top of my work and keep my focus strong, especially now that I have so much more on my plate (I am, in effect, sharing plates with Joe Biden!).

I don't have time for more now but I just wanted to take a break from studying and post. More after the exam!

New Year

Today is the first day of the new year according to the Hindu calendar. I wasn't able to go home for Diwali because of the amount of studying I need to do, but I am still able to celebrate it while I'm at school by keeping the spirit alive in my heart. I know it sounds corny but I don't know how to describe it without sounding like a Hallmark card..

So some good news--I honored the Intro module! Top 10% Babyyyyy! I was very excited when I found out and I got that boost I needed to sustain my motivation. All the effort is not going to waste! Well not that it would be going to waste considering I will be needing all of this information pretty much forever. But yeah, the gratification is cool haha!


Yesterday I went to see Where the Wild Things Are. It was a really good movie. It was a lot more serious than I thought it would be, definitely above the heads of all the cutie-pies in the theater. There was a lot of symbolism and metaphorical content that really made me appreciate the movie. I thought it was beautifully done. I especially liked the handling of the camera--some of the camera angles during certain scenes really set a mood or atmosphere for the movie. It was deep and thought-provoking. I really liked it and now I wanna reread the book haha..

I did a lot of reflecting and thinking yesterday. I think because it's Diwali and an opportunity to turn over a new leaf I had to be my normal self and overthink things haha. I did some writing to get some clarity and clarity was attained. I feel like I am refreshed mentally and emotionally and I am ready to face whatever challenges come my way this year. You hear that world? BRING IT!

Fresh Start to the Week

This is going to be a short week! I'm loving it. Starts on a Tuesday and ends Friday at noon. What more could I ask for!

I had such a relaxing weekend...I am back at school and ready to study! I think this past weekend was the perfect balance of work and play and this is what I should strive for every time I go home. I end up coming back completely refreshed and not completely behind. It's seriously perfect! Guess I found my new goal in life haha..

Last night I played darts and then watched Eurotrip with a couple of friends. It was really relaxing and I'm glad I had the time to do it. I found out that I'm pretty good at darts (it was my first time playing). It's not like I have any inherent talent at it, but I've got the hand-eye coordination and I can adjust precisely based on the previous throw. That counts for something I guess!

Driving back to LI yesterday was wonderful. I really like long drives (long can be anything more than 15 minutes in my book). There wasn't any traffic since it was Columbus day and I reached here in good time. I just love the feeling of driving down an open road. I love the metaphorical significance of it and I guess I'm corny because that's what I think of when I drive. Another reason I enjoy the drive back so much is because I've only made it once or twice before. It's still relatively new to me so my mind is still engaged. It's not a drive that I'm completely familiar with so there's still a little bit of excitement.

Alright time to get to that work I'm so pumped for! Later days =)

Friendships

It's amazing how you can lose touch with someone but if the relationship was a close one in the first place, how easy it is to rekindle. As you dig deeper with the person you realize how much you had in the first place. The time and distance traveled alone really attaches a value to the things you shared. You realize their worth and you realize how life would never be the same without them. Every person that enters our lives really does change us in some way. Sometimes it's a small change that can be overlooked or not even attributed properly. But sometimes that person changes your entire outlook on life. Those are the people that shape us and allow us to define who we are. Those are the people we should never let go.

Nice Weekend Morning

Amazing moment in history yesterday: Matt Nathanson was on the radio! I was driving home for the weekend and I was listening to the radio and Matt Nathanson played! It was amazing. I just hope this isn't the point where he sells himself out. He's such a talented musician and he has a lot of heart in his music. I would hate for this to ruin that human touch he puts into all of his songs.

Every time I come home for the weekend it reminds me of how important it is to keep my inner peace intact. I guess my home is still the perfect place to get that peace snatched away from you. There's so many people, so many toes being stepped on, so many egos to protect. Every time my parents vent to me about what they put up with all I can think is: Find the happiness you are seeking within. I know it's obviously a lot easier for me to see that being so removed from the situation, but I really hope they can find that within themselves. It would make this stressful time in life a lot easier for them. They are putting up with a lot of pressures and they are tolerating a lot of things and it's no wonder that they get disheartened. I'm amazed at my dad's control and will power. He gets so frustrated with so many things that these relatives do but he is always able to control his tongue around them. I don't think he's ever said anything out of line randomly at them out of frustration. I admire that and I hope to be that strong in my life.

School's going really well. Right now I am on the fence in terms of honoring and passing. I may have honored the Intro course but I don't know yet because the lab grades haven't been factored in. It's not that serious but I really hope I did because that would be the perfect start to med school! If I didn't it's okay since I'm gonna be working harder next course anyway ;)

Today I'm gonna do a bunch of work because I slacked off last week (gimme a break, it was the end of a module!) and I'm gonna watch a movie with my brother. I think he still hasn't seen the hangover so we'll watch that. I'm excited...I haven't seen it since the screening in Philly! Man, I miss Philly. I think I'll always consider Philly my city. I know I went through this thought process before leaving Philly but there's a part of my heart that seriously goes out to Philly. I had no clue it would be like that when I was living there!

21 guns--Greenday

This is an amazing song. I think it is so complex, with multiple levels of meaning and interpretations. I see it as a protest against war, specifically Iraq. I think Green Day is expressing grief over the meaningless loss of lives in this effort. The necessity for this war is questionable and the rationale is porous. This flawed attempt at bringing peace and democracy to a people has had a huge toll and the song deals with the concept of weighing the costs and the benefits. Whether or not the entire effort seems heroic or romantic means nothing to the family of the fallen soldier.

Another interpretation of the song would be seeing it as a breakup. When an important person leaves your life it is a drastic change. Even if it is for the best in the long run, there is an immediate misery attached to a breakup. I think the feelings addressed in this song when applied to the breakup situation are extremely powerful and thought-provoking. The idea of the mind breaking the spirit of the soul is absolutely stunning. The stanza about burning down the house and the home to live on your own is another touching one. I think it's amazing how well the lyrics depict the trouble of starting off with a clean slate. When you have to remove a person from your life there are a lot of strings that must be severed. That person has a connection to so many aspects of your life and every aspect that was touched is changed in some way after the breakup. Things that seem meaningless and so removed from the person actually end up being an unexpected source of memories. And so to purge your life of that person, you end up destroying most of what you have. That is such a haunting concept.

Hope

More than anything, the world needs hope right now. Hope is one of the greatest treasures we have in our possession. We have the power to change an entire situation based on our perspective. The way we see things can shape the outcome of things in our lives. The best things happen to those who have a positive outlook; the ones who rise to the top are those that believe in their abilities and their ambitions. So let go of your doubts, hope for the best, and soar like only you can. How long are you going to keep the world waiting?

Beautiful morning

It didn't look like it would be, but it's a beautiful morning. The sun is shining brightly and the air is crisp. It's the kind of morning you see in the movies, complete with freshly squeezed orange juice and some peaches from the tree out back. Mornings like these make life worth living. There is NOTHING as calming and peaceful as the birth of a new day. As I drove to school this morning I noticed the sunlight coming down in rays between the leaves of the trees. There was a slight breeze that came in through the open windows of my car. It was a beautiful drive in. I need to appreciate things like this more. It is really these moments that define our lives and we are free to close our eyes or open them in all directions at the same time (dcfc).

Mellow Yellow

So I've really gotten used to the whole swing of things. It amazes me how quickly I am able to adjust to a new environment, to a new lifestyle. And not just me--people in general. It doesn't take us very long to get used to doing something different in an entirely different place. Within a few weeks, we can redefine our entire lives and feel as though we had always been living this way. That's the point I'm at now.

Exams come and go (but they seem to come with a lot more intensity than they go with). I'm used to studying all the time and I'm doing well in my classes. My grades are pretty much where I want them to be. I have 3 major exam coming up Monday and I really need to work hard on those to honor this course. I know I can do it if I stick to my study plan for the weekend. We'll see how that goes!

I think friendship is seriously a big thing in med school. Without good, dependable friends to lean on it would be very difficult to get through all of the workload and stress in one piece. I'm glad I get along with my roommates and I have some awesome people to study with for the labs and stuff. It's really a good feeling knowing I'm not alone in this struggle. It's nice that there are people here that are hard-working and dedicated and just in it for the right reasons!

I've found that change comes a lot easier when you don't welcome it with a cold shoulder. Embracing change is really a big lesson that I learned here. Can't say that I won't be apprehensive again, but I definitely realize that I shouldn't be. As you can probably tell from this post, life is good =)