Ghost Town

It's a beautiful day outside today! It's nice and sunny. The wind's a bit cold but overall the weather is nice. I went for a run today to soak in some of the nice weather. It was nice to be outside and breathing in the fresh air. This morning, I woke up and did pooja and then I wrote a short story. I have posted it on the Paraspar Devo Bhava blog so you can check it out there if you'd like =)

It sucks because with the start of this week, for me it's like the countdown to going back to Philly begins. I am past the halfway mark of my spring break and so now I have to start getting back into the studying frame of mind again. The first week back should be pretty good since that's when my sister is coming to visit!

I just finished watching a movie called Ghost Town. I really liked it a lot. The movie was about a man who can see ghosts and one of the ghosts bothers this man about some unfinished business he needs help with. The story is one of connecting with others and appreciating the people in your life. It reminded me of About a Boy in a lot of ways (minus Hugh Grant's stammering apology..what a cutie!). I don't think anyone can truly exist as an island. People are naturally interconnected and appreciating and valuing these connections is something people should learn to do. From personal experience I have learned that people who are incapable of forging emotional connections hurt the people around them...the people that really care about them. An interesting point in the movie was when Ricky Gervais' character said something about how ghosts have unfinished business not because they themselves feel incomplete or 'unfinished', rather because their loved ones that survived them feel incomplete. Ricky Gervais tells a widow to let go of her husband because until she does that, neither she or her husband will be at peace. It's an interesting concept--that the ones who are still living are the ones that are keeping business 'unfinished'. I don't know if I fully believe in ghosts but I do believe that the soul leaves the body and remains 'alive'. I guess even if you don't believe in ghosts, you still have to live on after the death of a loved one. You have to get closure and let go to the point that the memories don't stifle you. Anyway, I could probably go on a while but overall, the movie was a good one. I really liked it because it was funny and well-acted and definitely emotionally engaging!

Enough for tonight..it's bedtime for me =)

More Reminiscing

Today really was a day full of reminiscing! It started in the morning with my flashback to the trip to India and then later on in the afternoon, I received a facebook message from one of my friends from high school. I hadn't heard from her in a while so it was really nice to get that message. Something she said in the message sent me to my high school yearbook on a wild goose chase. Then, unsurprisingly, I forgot about the reason I picked up the yearbook in the first place and instead proceeded to spend an hour or so looking through all the faces that have gathered dust in my memory. It's funny how many little things can come flooding back when the gates are opened. It's been an interesting day!

We made tacos for dinner tonight so that was a fun time. Before dinner, my family sat around the dining table and we just talked for an hour or so. It was really nice. It's been a while since we've been able to do that without anyone having to rush off for any other obligation. I love being home because of moments like those! I think today was just a fabulous day overall. The morning walk with my mom and then sitting around the table with the family in the afternoon and watching a movie together after dinner really made for a great day =). Wow rereading that sentence really makes me feel like the Brady Bunch...trust me, we're not this cute all the time haha!

Alright, time to get to sleep! I am going to wake up early tomorrow to play tennis with my sister in the morning. Soo excited...it's been a while since I've played! I can't wait =D Good night!

Reminiscing

It has been a good morning! I woke up and did a 40 minute pilates workout. And then I had some yummmy apple cinnamon pancakes! Now I'm going to go to the park for a walk with my mom. I wanted to play tennis but my sister didn't wake up early enough =/ Oh well I hope we'll go tomorrow!

Today my mom wants us to sort through all the stuff in the attic. It is gonna SUCK! But right now I think me and my mom (my mom and I) are gonna go for a walk. I REALLY don't want to do the attic stuff so I suggested the walk. Seriously..the attic will take ALL day and there's not gonna be ANYTHING interesting about it.

One of my friends is going to India and I was just reminiscing about my trips there. It's amazing how humbling going to any third world country is. Every time I've gone, I've come back with a renewed sense of gratitude and motivation to do good in the world. Seeing the people that really need the help and seeing how content they are with what they have (even though it's not much) really makes me think about America's gluttony. We have such a high standard of living that sometimes we find it hard to believe that people can not only live, but live happily, with so little. It's amazing how refreshing a trip to India can be if taken with eyes wide open (not to be confused with eyes wide shut). The last time I went to India, I went on a trip to volunteer with the Red Cross. I went to a random village and with the money I raised here, I sponsored a health clinic fully stocked with malaria meds. The other project that I helped sponsor with the money I raised was a home health care program for young ladies. Those girls were taught skills that would help them find employment to take care of the elderly in hospitals and home visits. There was a ceremony to initiate the program and my mom and I were honored there because of our efforts. What I found amazing was the look in those girls' eyes. I have never seen such innocence and gratitude and satisfaction in anyone's eyes. Those girls had been given a whole new life, with the promise of stability and success (mind you, their definition of success was inherently different than ours). It was an amazing experience and it was definitely one that changed my life.

Ahh gotta go for the walk now! Enough reminiscing for now!

Some thoughts before bedtime

Just finished fixing the computer...AGAIN! It's kinda annoying having to refix the computer so often but at least I get a feeling of satisfaction afterward =)

I started Michael Clayton and got interrupted for hours every 10 minutes soo I didn't get to watch too much of it. Oh well, I'll try again tomorrow! I didn't even get to read that much today. My mom and I had a little argument today but that is resolved. I've learned to sort of avoid conflict when I know my parents are stressed and today I think I got involved in something I could've avoided pretty easily. You could say I was being a 'nosy neighbor' (hahaha if you know what I mean...chances are you probably don't). But yeah so the good thing I got out of the whole episode was that I can let go of frustration or anger pretty quickly. We didn't really have a formal make-up and I don't think we really needed to either. I'm happy and she's happy and that's really all it comes down to, right?

In other news, I've decided to try my hand (fingertips?) at writing (typing?) a novel! Let's see if it ends up being a short story, which is what I can very easily see happening. Today I did some brainstorming and come up with a few different major themes, plots, and motifs to work with. Tomorrow I'm gonna narrow down my focus a little and see where I go from there. I'm really excited about this and I don't really care if it ends up being a short story. Maybe I could make an anthology with all of the ideas I brainstormed today! That would be pretty awesome! It's not something I am doing with the aim of getting published. I think sharing it with some close friends and discussing it over a coffee or lunch date suffices =)

Ohh so what's really exciting me right now is my sister coming to stay with me in Philly for a week! I've been busy planning out what we will do that week and it's shaping up to be a nice week! I'm thinking of taking her to the US Mint, Independence Hall and Liberty Bell because all these years that I've been in Philly I haven't really visited any of those places. Also, we're going to go to the Poe Historic Site and the Mutter Museum. Also the Art Museum and biking on Kelly Drive. I'm really excited!! As for food, (trust me, this was reeeeally hard to narrow down and will probably change a gazillion times before and after she gets to Philly) we're going to Mad Mex (yay cheap!), Little Pete's for some yummy waffles, Pietro's for the pizza, Magic Carpet, and some Thai place (banana leaf? penang?). It's gonna be an expensive but fun week! I can't wait =D

Alright I think I should get to bed cuz since everyone's home tomorrow, I can't see myself being granted any quiet after 9 am. (And these days that's considered early! Ohhh break, how I love you!)

Beautiful Weather!

It's been a few days since I've posted...I don't really know why. I've just been sort of sitting around the house, planning the chores and housework around my TV schedule. It's really a great feeling--making TV the priority of my day. I love spring break. I get to do things I wouldn't normally do while at school. I sleep late and wake up relatively late, watch many hours of TVs and movies a day, read for fun for hours! It's nice to be able to pick up a book that has less academic value than even business textbooks (oh snap!). Also, I've been able to do pooja every morning since I've been home--definitely the best perk of all!

I watched Tropic Thunder last night. I must say, I was disappointed. It's not that the movie wasn't entertaining. I guess it just didn't match the hype that surrounded it. I have had several people tell me that it's hilarious and while it did have its moments, there were some hefty lulls thrown in there. Trust me, I felt the weight of those lulls!

I started my Harry Potter rereads and I decided to skip over Book 5. Umbridge is just about the most annoying character in the whole series and the second I realized book 5 was the one with her, I moved on to Book 6. I'm about 180 pages in and my admiration for J.K. Rowling doubles with every page. Seriously...I don't understand how someone can come up with such an intricate plot. I've written short stories before and the thought of writing an entire novel that doesn't take the form of a memoir is so daunting to me. I don't know how these writers come up with a story that can span so many pages. It's remarkable. I remember when I was in my prime, reading Babysitters Club, I started to write a novel. It was centered on Stacy's character (obviously..she was the most exciting!). I don't remember how long it got to be before I moved on to reading Nancy Drew and left the novel project.

I've been finding some really interesting people on blogger. I usually check out the blogs of note and then expand from there. Some people have such a unique blogging style and it's fun to read other people's perspectives on life. Sometimes, as creepy as it seems, I feel like I really know that person so well from having read just a few posts from her blog. I don't know...I just know that I really like connecting with strangers and fully appreciating how universal some thoughts and feelings are.

Alright time to go outside and soak in some of this beautiful weather =)

Clive is EASILY my favorite Owen

Just saw Inside Man with Clive Owen. I LOVE Clive Owen. Seriously..he's my favorite hot guy haha! He really should've been the new James Bond instead of Daniel Craig. Inside Man was a good movie. Denzel was strong as always. The only downside was that Clive Owen wears a mask for the first half. It was a fun movie though. I can't wait for Taking Pelham (or whatever the Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe movie is) to come out. That looks like it's gonna be good and it reminds me of Inside Man.

Today I decided to reread Harry Potter books 5-7. It's been a while and so much happens in those books that I need to refresh my memory before the movies start coming out (not like they're coming out soon enough but whatever!).

Not much on my mind other than sleep right now....Good night!

Sunflowery Goodness

There's this beautiful website that I came across a while ago that has really lifted my spirits when I am down. It's called helpothers.org and it's a compilation of people's experiences with random acts of kindness. It's a beautiful idea and with so many readers and contributors, there is always something on that site that alleviates my disappointment with the world. I definitely have moments when I wonder where all the good is and I doubt its existence. In those moments, I do some soul searching and ever since I found this site, I read some stories to feel positive again. Witnessing the kindness of strangers like this reminds me that sometimes when things look down, we have to look up at the stars and remember that we're not alone. As Oscar Wilde put it: We are all in the gutters but some of us are looking up at the stars. I really like that quote because it reminds me that I have full control of my attitude, regardless of the situation I am in. It is a message of hope and optimism.

Last night I watched Catch Me If You Can. It was a pretty good movie. I really like how Leonardo DiCaprio blossomed (I know, I know, couldn't I have picked a less girly word to describe it!) into a respectable actor. It's not just his good looks and charm anymore but his merit as an actor. Speaking of good looks, I may go see Duplicity with my sister in a bit. Sigh, gotta love that Clive Owen. More later! Meanwhile, just enjoy the sunflowers!

It must be hard to maintain two faces

I have never been in a more appropriate situation to use the phrase: I told you so. Unfortunately, being able to say it right now isn't giving me the satisfaction you would expect from a statement with such a HUGE underlying 'ha! ha!". If you're wondering what I'm referring to...just read the news. You know, those articles in which, with only minimal squinting, you can clearly make out the silhouettes of Bush and Paulson. My question, strong as ever, resounds from way back during the primary season: Why Obama? (not to be confused with the version that is asking Obama why...I am using the version that is saying why him) Somehow I missed the Obamania train and I'm looking on as everyone is going crazy as the train pulls away, wondering if it was the water that they had spiked with false hope and fluff.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not anti-Obama. (Patriot Act, please cease to exist for a moment) He is nearly as Democratic as any other Democrat. He generally votes along Democratic lines and his campaign platform as well as his speeches are all of the Democratic vein. (Patriot Act, get back to existence). I guess my problem is the disparity between Campaign Obama and President Obama. Obama had an amazing campaign strategy that certainly attests to his intelligence and finesse as a politician. He preached about hope and change and a new era of government responsibility. I'll admit, even I was tempted to hum a little tune and add a little hop in my step after hearing some of his rousing speeches. I guess I'm jaded though because I quickly wondered if most of what he was saying would turn out to be fluff. I was hoping I would be proven wrong. I don't think he's stupid or foolish and I really don't think he's a bad person. But I do think he's unprepared. He came into this position as a fresh face, as someone who has had no experience in Washington. Some people may be focusing on Obama's gray hairs as of late, but I guess I'm distracted by the bib that reads "I'm a big boy!". I don't think Obama has what it takes to lead this country out of the recession we're in. He has a shot at being a good president (even apart from popularity scales) but I don't think now is the time.

What I find frustrating about all of this is that he beat Clinton with a misleading stance. (Disclaimer: I am not a Hillary Clinton supporter either.) I guess I can chalk that up to his finesse as a politician but correct me if I'm wrong..didn't he use the oldest tricks in the book to win? I don't understand how he could beat Hillary by presenting himself as a 'Messiah of Change' and then just revert to old politics once elected. Obama was his own biggest campaign promise. I feel cheated. I really hope he gets his act together or we will really be in a lot of trouble. He still has time to correct things but as Krugman aptly notes in his NYTimes column, with every month of inaction (or the lack of productive action) thousands of jobs are being lost. When will Obama rise to the task at hand? And how many job losses will it take for him to stand up?

Love Reign O'er Me

Hello! I'm a little late tonight so I guess it's actually tomorrow. I just finished watching Reign Over Me. It's a nice, touching movie. It reminds me of the different forms grief takes as it creeps into people's lives. Everyone deals with loss and grief differently and I guess it's important to recognize that. This really hits home because my ba is still coping with the loss of my dada. There are still times, unsurprisingly, when she gets down because she feels the effects of the drastic changes in her life. Most of the time she is able to live out her days fully but there are definitely some moments that can be tough for her. I guess she especially gets lonely whenever there is a holiday or a birthday..times that are the triggers that remind her of time spent with him. Sometimes when my ba is down my mom will try to push her to a better mood. I wonder sometimes about how good that is for her. I do think there should be a limit to how depressed someone gets about things like this but I don't know if enforcing a limit is the right way to go about it. As long as they aren't hurting themselves too badly or hurting others they should be given their freedom. People heal at their own pace and that should be respected.

I was just thinking earlier about education. I really don't like how people take education for granted. It's tempting to complain and feel bad for yourself when you have an endless amount of work to do. It's even understandable, especially when everyone you know isn't in the same situation you are. I think in those moments it is essential to think about how blessed we are to even have the opportunity to obtain an education. We can choose our interests and pursue them at advanced levels of education. That is something that some kids don't even have the means to dream about. It's a shame that so many people either let it go to waste or fail to recognize it as one of the greatest blessings. We have complete access to what it takes to achieve our dreams. When you have chosen a path for yourself--a walk of life on which to make your mark, you have nothing to complain about because you are better off than more than half of the children in this world. When you are in school studying to become what you have dreamt of, you are better off than probably 80% of the children of the world. They don't have the voice to complain and we can't seem to shut up. We hold the key to our future in our hand and yet we are complaining because we don't want to walk over to the door and unlock it. It's pathetic really, when you think about the way we react to having a decade or so of hard work that eventually leads to a six figure salary. What about the people who struggle their entire lives to no good end? Education is something I really feel strongly about as you can probably tell from all of this ranting...I don't know, just something to think about..

Okay this was a serious enough end to a pretty light day! I spent most of the day helping my mom with some paperwork she had to do for work. Literally...I was at the kitchen table for over 7 hours. Ah well, all in the name of family! I'm gonna get to bed now so I can wake up in like 6 hours to watch Saved by the Bell!

Feels Good to Be Home

Aloha! I had a nice, low key day today. I was up late last night...doing nothing and feeling great! Woke up around 12 and after eating lunch, I went to the mall with my mom. Today is an important day because it is the first day my mom has seen me drive. She has NEVER been in the car with me when I was driving and so this car trip is 4 years overdue. One time right after I got my permit my mom told me to practice driving by taking her to Shoprite. We only got to the end of the block when she made me get out of the driver's seat. THE END OF THE BLOCK! I was so mad and ever since then it just never came up that I would ever drive when we were in the car together until today. But better late than never I suppose!

My friend recommended this really funny guy on Youtube. His name is Mr Chi City and he's hilarious! He keeps a video diary and it's not even like the things that he talks about are funny--just the way he narrates. I saw the one about keeping the refrigerator stocked and the one with the bug. Both were good! He has 24 videos and I can see myself being done watching all of them within a few days. Just search Mr Chi City on youtube!

When I was at the mall today I saw a LOT of kids. And I was thinking about how when you're little the world seems so big. And I was thinking about how they should really have strollers for adults cuz my feet were killing me! My mom got a couple of tops and earrings so I guess it was a productive trip. I'm just glad I'm home now haha. Today for dinner we're making Chinese food and then watching an Indian movie. Yay for Saturday evenings!

Oh and this past week's episode of the office was really good! The Scrubs one was alright. I don't know...this season just doesnt have the thrill of the previous ones. I guess the show is on the downhill limb of its journey. Ah well, still gotta love the characters! Okay I'm gonna go read some Friedman.

A little bit of sentiment to welcome spring

Happy spring! Just warning you--I'm sort of sentimental right now. I just watched Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi and it really touched me. I guess it addressed a lot of my thoughts and concerns as of late. I have been wondering about love and who I'm going to marry. Don't get me wrong--I'm not trying to get married anytime soon. But I guess I just want to be in a stable relationship before marrying the person and I feel like time is running out. Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi reminded me of something that's easy to overlook when your mind is consumed with worry and fear--God has someone just for every single one of us. We all have a soul mate out there who is perfect for our specific needs. I guess I just have to work on myself to get to a point where I am ready to meet 'the one' and leave the rest up to God.

Today was the first day of spring and coincidentally, I came home for spring break today. I took the train home and I guess not having company made my hearing and thinking skills that much sharper. I was standing next to these two girls on the platform as I was waiting for my train and their conversation really made me think. They were both Indian girls and they were discussing how much they don't like to be a part of the Indian group which is constantly filled with drama. It's so funny how many people (ahem, girls) have that attitude and yet they are itching to be at the center of their social spheres. Some people gravitate towards drama and while doing so, claim to want no part in it. I don't mind the drama because I think drama is something people create; I don't think it is an entity that exists apart from people's perspectives. Everyone is living and everyone has things going on in their life. A thing that happens in your life can become the sole focus of your life (and everyone else's conversations) or it can remain just a part of your life--which is what it rightfully should be. I don't understand the obsession with blowing things out of proportion to make what you feel the most extreme version of that feeling to ever exist. Truth be told, none of the emotions anyone feels are new to people. There have been love and heartbreaks and jealousy and anger and whatever other emotions that some people claim 'nobody understands'. It all boils down to your reaction to these events in your life. You can make them more dramatic than they are and become the drama you 'hate' or you can realize that they're just single threads in the tapestry of your life and treat them as is warranted by their insignificance. Take that you dramatic platform girls!

Okay so all of that aside, the Island Fusion ice at Rita's is so good! I had it today as I welcomed spring! Here's to a season full of a vibrant energy that is so desperately needed right now!

I love you man but not the government

Last night I went to a free screening for the movie coming out on Friday--I love you, man. It was a good movie! I really liked it. I like Paul Rudd. I feel like he's not self-conscious and he's not afraid to take on roles that involve him acting gay or stupid. In I love you man, Rudd's acting made me think of Steve Carrell. Overall, it's a funny movie and I liked it!

In other news, the whole AIG bonuses thing has really got everybody angry. The general public is mad at the executives that are taking home these hefty bonuses. What I don't understand is how the government failed to have the foresight to prevent this from happening. I don't understand how the government basically gave a handout without putting any conditions that cap the bonuses. Why didn't anybody in Washington do something about this huge loophole?

When I was at the gym yesterday, they were playing CNN Newsroom on the TV and they had this interesting interview. This guy was out of a job (no surprise there) and to advertise himself, he bought a billboard ad. Apparently he received a lot of offers for interviews from CEOs that saw the billboard. I thought that was such a creative idea and I'm glad it worked or his financial situation would probably be worse off cuz of the expense of advertising!

Soo I wanna share my thoughts on politics. I realized my view last night and I think it's important that I write it down so I can refer to it later when I'm interviewed on the Colbert Report (one can dream!). So up until now I considered myself a Democrat. I didn't exactly change to a Republican philosophy but I can definitely understand it. There's problems with both philosophies and I guess I don't know yet which is the lesser evil. See, in the Democratic standpoint, a shift of wealth to the lower income class is purported. Democrats want to help out the people at the bottom that 'need a hand' to get up. Whereas the Republicans have a self-righteous attitude about the money that they 'worked hard' to earn and they don't think people at the bottom, who haven't worked as hard, deserve the help. I think there are fundamental problems with both mindsets. The Democratic philosophy is too forgiving of the people at the bottom that are lazy and just waiting for the government handouts. I don't think that's right because there are people out there who work two jobs and work overtime. It's interesting because some of these people may actually jump into a higher socioeconomic class because of the amount they work and what do they get rewarded with? HIGHER TAXES! So that family is working like crazy to make a better future for themselves and all of a sudden they're expected to give even more to the lazy people at the bottom! Why does their hard-earned money go to the families that aren't even trying? I know there are lots of worthy people at the bottom that really need the aid and it's unfortunate that their actual needs get twisted up with the lazy people who just aren't trying. Now the problem with the Republican philosophy in my eyes is that it operates on the premise that the people who are at the top making a lot of money all worked hard to get there. There are undoubtedly people who really did climb the ladder and got where they are with their own sweat. But certainly there are those who had the right connections and just got there without lifting a finger. Even now, after having gotten to the top, there are some executives that actually work hard and care about things and others that are only looking at the money. So what you end up with overall is a Democratic philosophy that helps the undeserving lazy people and a Republican philosophy that helps the undeserving greedy people. Which is the lesser of the two evils?

Okay so I have a neuro practical exam tomorrow that I'm not really prepared for. Considering I just woke up, I should probably get moving. Happy Thursday!

The Nines

I had a pretty good day today overall! I went to some required classes and went to Palace at the Ben for lunch. I was really surprised and excited to find that they now have a lunch buffet for $9.95. The food was awesome and they didn't cut corners because it was a buffet. Definitely gonna go back for lunch sometime!

Then I did some magazine browsing at Border's. It's so strange..I never read a magazine in my life before this past year and now it's one of those relaxing things to do at a bookstore. Maybe watching too many Disney channel shows is having some serious side effects on me. Ah whatever.

I just watched a movie called The Nines with Ryan Reynolds in it. I really like Ryan Reynolds and it was interesting to see him take on a more serious role in this metaphysical thriller. The movie definitely had me guessing at what exactly was going on--what was real and what was imagined. Which is exactly what they were going for. In the beginning I was afraid it was going to turn into another '23' nightmare but it drifted away from an obsession with numbers into a more psychologically involved movie. Not your average Sex and the City movie here. Ryan Reynolds really did a good job acting and I think this is one of few chances he has had to really prove his worth. He definitely wowed me in this movie (and not just with his body ;)

Okay enough of that. I'm gonna get to bed so I can have a fresh, early start tomorrow. Goodnight!

Knowing

Last night I went with a couple of my friends to a free screening of Knowing starring Nicholas Cage. The movie was pretty good, until the last quarter of it when the religious undertone became the main focus. Even though I am a spiritual person, I never really like when movies throw the religious views in your face. In my opinion (I refuse to use IMO), religion isn't something that needs that sort of representation. It's not a 'cause' that the movie needs to make people aware of. I guess I can still enjoy a movie like the Narnia movies where there is clear Biblical depiction but it remains an undertone. Towards the end of this movie, I just felt like the religious focus was unnecessary and for me, it took away from the overall experience of the movie. But overall, the movie was pretty good. The graphics and the premise were good enough to overcompensate for Nicholas Cage's acting.

I saw some weird things on the way to the screening on the subway. There was this man who, from the looks of it, was a bum. But then he sits down in the seat across the aisle and whips out LOTS of twenty dollar bills. The entire car was staring at him as he counted his money, dropped some of it, (to our despair) noticed that he dropped it, and started to recount. It was the weirdest thing. Also on the same subway ride, at one of the stops some guy comes onto the train and the doors close. Realizing it's not the train he needs to be on, he sticks his fingers between the doors and pulls them apart to get off the train. I don't know what the big deal was but apparently getting off the wrong train at that moment was worth the risk of losing fingers?

So today I have neurolab 2-4. I really don't want to go but considering it's the first lab, I'm pretty sure that would be a bad decision. I just preread the manual so I'm sorta prepared I guess? I don't know why but I am so intimidated by this class. I guess it's because we haven't had a lab yet and I didn't get my book yet so I feel like I'm being kept in the dark. Oh well, maybe at 4 pm I'll feel better. I'm gonna go eat some breakfast and go to class. Yay class!

Some life lessons are costly

Good morning! I slept in until 10 this morning...hooray for days that start at 2! Last night I was up kind of late watching a movie. I saw Paycheck with Ben Affleck and Uma Thurman. It's a really interesting movie. It's about a guy who is doing some covert operations for the government but in order to prevent the secrets from leaking out, the government erases the guy's memories. So essentially, he is missing chunks of his life that were spent doing these missions. I wouldn't be willing to do that for any sum of money. To lose that much time of my life is nuts! I think I'd rather just go through this many years of schooling and become a doctor..you know, make money the traditional way.

Also I was reading about Madoff this morning. I can't believe how easy it is for someone to do something like this for years and not get caught until 2 decades (or 1, according to him) later! My opinion is that the investors really have some fault in this. I do think what Madoff did was wrong but for all these investors to claim that they are 'victims'? Yeah, someone wronged you but you did CHOOSE to give the guy all of your life savings! And when someone promises returns that high, you know there's a high risk involved. I don't understand why anyone would trust someone who seems to have a high risk plan with all of their money. Those people really should've been wise about how they're investing. In the end, it's your money and whatever you do with it, you deal with the consequences. I think it's foolish to trust someone who is proposing a risky plan with most of your money. Maybe I'm conservative and maybe I'm a bit harsh, but hey, at least I'm not broke!

I'm gonna go play squash at the gym pretty soon. I'm excited cuz I really love playing squash! I have tickets to a screening of Knowing (Nicholas Cage) tonight. The trailer looks kinda cool so it should be a good time. Either way, it's free so who cares if it's good right! Alright off to the gym!

Newfound Clarity

Dreams can sometimes serve as a revelation. The dream I had last night was a big push in the direction I need to start moving. I realized some things about myself and my future that I can now work with to get where I need to be. I think I have taken the first step in getting over my ex. The distractions of fear and uncertainty have been dispelled and with new-found clarity, I can see a future. I guess that's what really needs to happen to allow you to move on. You need to become confident that you will have a future and that it will be happy. I guess I hadn't fully done that before. I always knew everything would turn out okay but I didn't REALIZE it. I don't even know if there's any difference between me knowing and me realizing (except that the latter deserves capitalization) but who cares. Now that I feel more confident about it, I am in a better place.

I was thinking about friendships when I was laying in bed this morning. I really am amazed at how precious and special friendships are. And also at how powerless we are in forming or abandoning friendships. Some of my friendships have been victims of circumstance whereas others have really been tested but managed to survive. I don't understand how that happens but it's definitely something I find worth thinking about. There's so many people in this world and somehow we are always surrounded by the ones that are just perfect for us at that time in our lives. There are some people that I have known for years and then randomly, one day, a friendship is forged. Why that moment? Why not the countless moments that preceded or followed that one moment? It's remarkable how perfectly orchestrated everything is when you look at it with the clarity of hindsight.

I'm someone who fights for things I want or believe that I deserve. I really do speak my mind. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I wasn't as aggressive about my relationships and desires in general. I think my stress would go down and I wouldn't be as emotionally involved in things. I don't know if I would be happy though. There's pros and cons to both traits and I guess I've adjusted to mine to a point where I can't even fathom what my life would be like if I wasn't like this. Oh well, as long as I'm happy right?

Okay my stomach just grumbled and I think that's my cue to stop writing for now! Maybe I'll write a story or a poem or something later! Carpe diem =)

A Nice, Lazy Saturday

There's nothing like sleeping in my bed at home home, waking up to a lazy Saturday. I woke up at 12:30 and just sort of lounged around the house since. I did manage to watch a lecture and I'll probably watch one more before quitting for the day.

I spent half an hour just sitting and talking with my ba today. It was a really special time because it's been a while since I've been home and free to do that. I haven't really gotten the chance in a long time and I really miss her when I'm in Philly. I love to sit around with her and joke around and speculate about random things. I am so glad to have her company in my life. She is the purest, most simple and perfect part of my life. I love her so much.

Last night before going to bed I watched Rachel Getting Married. It's an interesting movie. I think Anne Hathaway did a great job in that role. I think it's remarkable how realistic the family's situation was. I mean, I guess most families won't have a heroine addict as a member but the problems and issues that they confront are prevalent in a lot of family settings I think. I especially like the way Kim's guilt was dealt with. I think she had a huge burden to bear and I don't know how many people would have the strength to cope. My attitude towards Rachel changed as I began to understand the complexity of emotions she felt. At first I was amazed and admittedly a bit disgusted at how careless and removed she seemed from Kim's problem but in the scene after the rehearsal dinner I was able to sympathize with her and understand her perspective better. It's interesting that people generally sympathize with the sufferer of a disease but overlook what the family feels. It's typically assumed that the family should care a lot and should take care of the sufferer. While that is a reasonable expectation, years of coping with a sick or handicapped family member can be draining. While I'd like to think I would be strong enough to support someone in my family, the truth is I really don't know. I guess nobody can know until they are put in that position. And I don't think it makes the family any less of a support system or any less loving and caring if they are unable to support. We are all human after all. I don't know..it just makes me sad to think of a disease that tears a family apart and isolates each member. It's not just the sufferer that is isolated in pain and suffering. The family may feel incapacitated and helpless because they can't do anything about the disease or even do anything to make the sufferer feel better. I dunno..the movie just made me think a lot.

Well that's all for today. Gonna go watch a movie with my family.